It's an amazing path in which we all have set our feet on. The indestructible design we call Earth. Mother Earth to some. But for most she is merely a planet to which we feed our starving hearts and lungs everyday. Fed with the blood soaked soils of our past transgressions, heaped in piles among each other. We see the error of our ways and we walk blindly aside them, with no recollection of the damage we have done. We breath in the smoke of our forefathers and describe it as healthy. A new tradition.
A false priesthood has been set in place. Now a panel of judges has risen up among all of you. All of us. We proclaim the name of Jesus in our hearts and in our lungs. But the majority stand idly by, with their hands in their pockets and their fingers in the air. Hallelujah is once said in the perverse manor of church praise to a message that satisfies the sole. The sole of what I ask? Of Man? Neh! It satisfies the root of evil. The self declaration of the gospels of so and so, and the evil that is spewed in them. The self centered hallelujah that echos out the chest of the man with no problems in the world because "Jesus has taken care of them." Or so he thinks. He sits mighty on his pedestal in the kingdom of money, fame and power. He is known among his peers as hatred. One that perks up when the higher ups come around and yields a knife as they pass.
The hatred among the saints in the church can be counted as indescribable. A number so rich and heavy, and laden with sin, that no mere mortal could ever bear the weight of its selfishness and greed. The presumption that all take on one, and not one took on all. The mistakes of man, to think that we can make a difference all by our self, and without assistance of a supernatural beings. Someone who has spanned time, and glory has been set in his hands. He is justified in every action and reaction that takes place. He is the one, and the only, that will ever stand at the top. His name is Jesus.
A man of men, a soldier of God. The one on the front line from the beginning of time, He loved us so much, He came to live among us, and then die! Only to show us that we will live again with Him through His Resurrection from the grave, if we choose.
Be set on your own errors and ways, and live for yourself. You evildoers do no good to the planet. You rape, pillage and plunder it all for your own glory, and the self glorification of the god you call yourself. Human man has no place in heaven if all he thinks of is what he needs most in life. What we need most in life is Jesus. The One and only. The proclamation has been set, and the invitations have been giving. The story has been told again and again and all of those who hear it will be forever changed. Because it is in that moment of desperation and loneliness that you need to grasp on to something. And the wicked ways on the world will not satisfy forever. Only the right hand of the Holy One will do. So reach out and grab Him.
You live among yourselves preaching the gospels of righteousness yet you show no example of it. You lie, cheat and steal from others. You proclaim faith in the Holy One of God, yet you speak as if you never met Him. Because you never have! You sacrifice nothing.
For nothing is sacred to you, not even your life!
From the beginning the only thing man cared about was himself. Even in the beginning when he walked side by side with the Lord. He was alone. No one forgave him for his sins because there was no sin. It did not exist yet. But then the fall came and all was forgiven, but was left with a curse. Til this day there has been but one way to lift this curse.
The Resurrection of Christ.
But no one believes in it. In a culture so soaked in self image and me purpose, how do you teach one to be submissive and take on the attitude of a servant. One who does the work of other or for others with hopes that he may win someone over. To proclaim the gospels, and to see the hearts of many change. Be one with his creator in a relationship that will never die. Ever.
Til the end comes, you will see the terrified rise up in the middle of the lame, and those laden with sin will be all around them. They do not know their sins, for no one has told them the error of their ways. So preach the good news and spread the word. For He is coming soon and there will be no way out. There will come a day when the hearts of many will change so rapidly there will be no keeping up with it. Like the sound of rushing waves, you will here the Son of Man return and capture the hearts of many.
Only to be judged once more, shall you return to the error of your previous ways. Be still and wait on God to come. Be alert and open your heart to His image. And clean your eyes, for they are the window of your soul, and unless you see Jesus coming in the distance at that time, you will lose yourself in the smoke and be amongst the soles who are taken to the underground and cast out of the eternal wonder that will be heaven. Amen.
*Soles is used on purpose instead of Souls. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:25-26
7.08.2012
7.03.2012
Make Me New, Again and Again
My Faith has been getting stirred up. I am in a position of transition now and I am thrown for a loop. I have never committed to anything 100% percent in my life. It wasn't until recently, and I mean maybe 1 and a half years recently, that I have been adjusting that. And on the front line I am trying to place my commitment to my faith in Jesus.
I look at my life until this point sometimes and realize the majority of it was me walking paths that I thought were fit. I chased things that made me comfortable, or things that helped me fit in. My job has been guided by social acceptance for almost 6 years. Last year I came to this understanding. My whole outlook at what I do and why I do it has changed a lot. My relationships with woman were never up to any standard. They were more like whatever it is that is between friends and a relationship without calling it anything. I had the desire to want them, the desire to love them. But my actions never matched on a consistent level.
Somewhere around 8 or 9 years ago, while I was living in the south, I came to find myself headed into the church. Not by my personal decision of wanting to be there. I was more or less going there because the person I was with wanted to go with their family so I joined. Little did I know the works that were about to be done in me. Fast forward this scene about 6-8 months or so, of steady attendance, and listening, and you find me standing up in front of the church body with a fair amount of others, crying my eyes out and not knowing why. I wasn't really thinking of anything except that I wanted change, and I needed it, and the offer was set there for me to accept it. So I did. I let my voice be moved by whatever it was that was inside me and not be moved from my brains stand point. I accepted Jesus and His sacrifice for me.
But I cannot say that was the ultimate change around. Although I accepted my new renewed way of living. I had to educate myself on it. I never grew up in a church. Nor did I care to before that point. So for the next 4 years it was an up and down and back and forth process of studying and understanding and trying to figure out what it was I needed too do. Through it all, I still, NEVER gave in 100%. I studied on my time, I prayed on my time, I thanked him on my time. Half hearted, and half witted. Ignorance at best.
I ran through a 2 year backslide after that. I slowly became an alcoholic again, and a womanizer, and an all around jerk. In the beginning of my downfall, it was hard inside. The guilt of knowing what I was doing was not what was expected of me was hard. Physically sickening. Seriously. But as I pushed away from Jesus and more to what I wanted to do too fit in, it got easier you could say. At least it seemed that way.
Then I met someone, who like me, was on her way out of a sort of relationship and just doing whatever. We talked here and there online. Then our online turned to phone calls. Then in no time we had met in person, spent some time together and decided, Let's move in, move away, and start something new. So we did. We packed up, found a place, moved in. Had a lil boy, started some businesses, and aimed to create a family atmosphere to surround ourselves in. And for the most part, it was working.
All of this time, minus a few conversations here and there, my Faith was remotely stagnant. I would talk about it when prompted but never really was moved too. Never really prayed. Never read or studied. Never really did much but chase what I thought I needed to survive and succeed. I had some awesome opportunities open at times when I was in position to rise up. I was given a lot of responsibly both at work and at home, and I failed. Terribly. I made great money, I was able to buy whatever we needed almost whenever. We were for the most part doing well. Then, reality hits.
I based all of my life decisions on what it was I was doing. I never once gave God what is due to Him. I was not living a life that matched my testimony, let alone matched what it is that is expected of me.
Fast forward through the failures that almost destroyed EVERYTHING. As well as the recovery process. (Read about that HERE .) I find myself standing side by side with this wonderfully strong woman! She has been so much support and love for me. I have a son who is so awesome I cannot even write it all down. I have two successful businesses we both run. I have a family that rolls almost 100 deep, and I can count on them just about anytime I would need them as they would need me. My personal business and arts are slowly dragging its way out of the mud. Our network is building as are our connections. And all of this is absolutely related to my God.
8 years ago or so, I left my old self on an alter in Georgia, and I told Jesus I wanted the life He had for me, and I was going to do my best to live for Him from that day on. Guess what, I lied! I didn't know I lied, but I understand that now. And it may not have so much been a lie, as it may have been and weak promise. Today, I am more free feeling than I have been ever. I have found some professional council that helps me both with addictive habits as well as faith based truths and life. I re-declared to God in front of a family of close to 500 plus, that I would live for Him, on the day I was Baptized. I was also blessed to share that moment with the woman I love! I love reading His scriptures. I love learning more about the awesome things He has done for us throughout time. I am now learning to commit to the things He has given me, instead of figuring out what I believe is best, and running with that.
I look back sometimes and see a lot of the opportunity in my life where I could have made the decision to choose Him over me, and so much more Life would have taken place. I see now, He has blessed me so much. Everything I have that I love is because of Him. And I do not deserve any of it. I have been terrible at portraying the person He expects me to be.
The name Jesus has power. Say it anywhere and someone will react. May be bad, may be good, sometimes it's indifferent. So repeat it. Just the name, JESUS. There is power in it because that was the design. One name, to rule, above all other names ever thought of, or created. Say any name there is in a crowd, and none of them will ever compare to the reactive power of Jesus.
I accepted Him, and His love for me because I was out of options. I thought I controlled my environments, I controlled my lifeline, I controlled my outcomes. In reality, the only thing I control is my decision. And if I am fully committed to this Faith, to this Life, that decision should already be made every time. I choose Him. We are not an accident. We are not born of monkeys. We are not evolution fish. We are creatures that are designed specifically, and formed by an Artist. This world, is not an accident. It didn't just happen. It is not an finite number of happy accidents. Everything around us is designed individually, and designed to work together. It doesn't just happen.
Look around. Take things apart. Look deeper than the surface and see. This world was created for us. And all we have done since is destroy it. Ignore the designer. Tell Him that we have a better plan. Then we live selfishly, and with greed. And we destroy.
That is not what He is about. That is no what I am about. Because He lives through me, every time I surrender myself and my agenda. That is the hardest part. Surrender . . . But when you finally understand Love and Grace, and how it works, You chase it, and do your best to give into it always. So that we may be forever connected, and He can be seen through us.
My Faith is being stirred up, because I asked Jesus to guide me, and to teach me to be fearless, and in that awakening, my body fights back. But I have to press on, and aim for 100% always, so that His love can be seen, heard, felt and experienced by everyone, everywhere, forever. AMEN.
I look at my life until this point sometimes and realize the majority of it was me walking paths that I thought were fit. I chased things that made me comfortable, or things that helped me fit in. My job has been guided by social acceptance for almost 6 years. Last year I came to this understanding. My whole outlook at what I do and why I do it has changed a lot. My relationships with woman were never up to any standard. They were more like whatever it is that is between friends and a relationship without calling it anything. I had the desire to want them, the desire to love them. But my actions never matched on a consistent level.
Somewhere around 8 or 9 years ago, while I was living in the south, I came to find myself headed into the church. Not by my personal decision of wanting to be there. I was more or less going there because the person I was with wanted to go with their family so I joined. Little did I know the works that were about to be done in me. Fast forward this scene about 6-8 months or so, of steady attendance, and listening, and you find me standing up in front of the church body with a fair amount of others, crying my eyes out and not knowing why. I wasn't really thinking of anything except that I wanted change, and I needed it, and the offer was set there for me to accept it. So I did. I let my voice be moved by whatever it was that was inside me and not be moved from my brains stand point. I accepted Jesus and His sacrifice for me.
But I cannot say that was the ultimate change around. Although I accepted my new renewed way of living. I had to educate myself on it. I never grew up in a church. Nor did I care to before that point. So for the next 4 years it was an up and down and back and forth process of studying and understanding and trying to figure out what it was I needed too do. Through it all, I still, NEVER gave in 100%. I studied on my time, I prayed on my time, I thanked him on my time. Half hearted, and half witted. Ignorance at best.
I ran through a 2 year backslide after that. I slowly became an alcoholic again, and a womanizer, and an all around jerk. In the beginning of my downfall, it was hard inside. The guilt of knowing what I was doing was not what was expected of me was hard. Physically sickening. Seriously. But as I pushed away from Jesus and more to what I wanted to do too fit in, it got easier you could say. At least it seemed that way.
Then I met someone, who like me, was on her way out of a sort of relationship and just doing whatever. We talked here and there online. Then our online turned to phone calls. Then in no time we had met in person, spent some time together and decided, Let's move in, move away, and start something new. So we did. We packed up, found a place, moved in. Had a lil boy, started some businesses, and aimed to create a family atmosphere to surround ourselves in. And for the most part, it was working.
All of this time, minus a few conversations here and there, my Faith was remotely stagnant. I would talk about it when prompted but never really was moved too. Never really prayed. Never read or studied. Never really did much but chase what I thought I needed to survive and succeed. I had some awesome opportunities open at times when I was in position to rise up. I was given a lot of responsibly both at work and at home, and I failed. Terribly. I made great money, I was able to buy whatever we needed almost whenever. We were for the most part doing well. Then, reality hits.
I based all of my life decisions on what it was I was doing. I never once gave God what is due to Him. I was not living a life that matched my testimony, let alone matched what it is that is expected of me.
Fast forward through the failures that almost destroyed EVERYTHING. As well as the recovery process. (Read about that HERE .) I find myself standing side by side with this wonderfully strong woman! She has been so much support and love for me. I have a son who is so awesome I cannot even write it all down. I have two successful businesses we both run. I have a family that rolls almost 100 deep, and I can count on them just about anytime I would need them as they would need me. My personal business and arts are slowly dragging its way out of the mud. Our network is building as are our connections. And all of this is absolutely related to my God.
8 years ago or so, I left my old self on an alter in Georgia, and I told Jesus I wanted the life He had for me, and I was going to do my best to live for Him from that day on. Guess what, I lied! I didn't know I lied, but I understand that now. And it may not have so much been a lie, as it may have been and weak promise. Today, I am more free feeling than I have been ever. I have found some professional council that helps me both with addictive habits as well as faith based truths and life. I re-declared to God in front of a family of close to 500 plus, that I would live for Him, on the day I was Baptized. I was also blessed to share that moment with the woman I love! I love reading His scriptures. I love learning more about the awesome things He has done for us throughout time. I am now learning to commit to the things He has given me, instead of figuring out what I believe is best, and running with that.
I look back sometimes and see a lot of the opportunity in my life where I could have made the decision to choose Him over me, and so much more Life would have taken place. I see now, He has blessed me so much. Everything I have that I love is because of Him. And I do not deserve any of it. I have been terrible at portraying the person He expects me to be.
The name Jesus has power. Say it anywhere and someone will react. May be bad, may be good, sometimes it's indifferent. So repeat it. Just the name, JESUS. There is power in it because that was the design. One name, to rule, above all other names ever thought of, or created. Say any name there is in a crowd, and none of them will ever compare to the reactive power of Jesus.
I accepted Him, and His love for me because I was out of options. I thought I controlled my environments, I controlled my lifeline, I controlled my outcomes. In reality, the only thing I control is my decision. And if I am fully committed to this Faith, to this Life, that decision should already be made every time. I choose Him. We are not an accident. We are not born of monkeys. We are not evolution fish. We are creatures that are designed specifically, and formed by an Artist. This world, is not an accident. It didn't just happen. It is not an finite number of happy accidents. Everything around us is designed individually, and designed to work together. It doesn't just happen.
Look around. Take things apart. Look deeper than the surface and see. This world was created for us. And all we have done since is destroy it. Ignore the designer. Tell Him that we have a better plan. Then we live selfishly, and with greed. And we destroy.
That is not what He is about. That is no what I am about. Because He lives through me, every time I surrender myself and my agenda. That is the hardest part. Surrender . . . But when you finally understand Love and Grace, and how it works, You chase it, and do your best to give into it always. So that we may be forever connected, and He can be seen through us.
My Faith is being stirred up, because I asked Jesus to guide me, and to teach me to be fearless, and in that awakening, my body fights back. But I have to press on, and aim for 100% always, so that His love can be seen, heard, felt and experienced by everyone, everywhere, forever. AMEN.
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