This is my explanation and description of a dream I had 11.9.10. I believe this to be a vision dream because although I was an active part of the dream, I had no control over my atmosphere and situations. In most dreams I believe we can control some sense of what is happening, and that I believe keeps it a dream and not something of a vision, something with a deeper rooted meaning of sorts. I have not examined this dream to much. I'm not sure it is suggested for my life or I may just be the messenger for someone that should receive it. I hope you enjoy.
The Wedding
It was beginning to be sundown. I walk into the hotel room of a Mountain Ski Lodge in which the guests are all checked in. In the room I see a woman and her child gazing out the window into the wooded banks on the backside of the mountain. A few others grace the room as well including a dark haired gentleman, clean cut, business looking fellow, with a winter sweater on. The sun gazes into the window with this warm glow on the mother and child's face. The woman asks aloud "They look like meteors don't they?" Looking at her little boy, "They almost look like they are headed straight for us." I walk over to the window and look over the shoulders to see a stream of Hot Air Balloons coasting into the snow covered mountain side for landing. As they coast into the resort, the massive balloons eclipse the sun, making for what looks to be, glowing balls of fire. "That does look like meteors huh?" I spoke out loud. You could feel the moisture on and chill on the window as we looked out at the skiers randomly coming down the slopes. "Well it's time for me to head down," I said as I headed away from the window towards the door.
I then find myself at the grand entry way to the chapel. This massive room is nothing short of stunning. The doors look like they came straight from an old Victorian Castle. The vaulted ceilings had to easily be almost twenty something feet tall. Slanted from left to right with the old English style exposed support beams, connecting to the ten foot vanity windows, that like the rooms windows, overlooked the heavily wooded mountain sides. No skiers or ski slopes on this side though. Just the breath taking overview of a Pinewood forest and what seems to be left of the autumn's golden leafed trees. As I enter further into the Chapel I stare in wonder at the architecture. These beautiful pearly white walls climb high into the ceiling. The church benches are finished in a fine golden reddish tint. The floors are carpeted with white and pink carnation print carpets. The stage was white marble and decorated for such an occasion. A huge wreath sat to the left of the stage. Beautiful white roses and carnations made up the great sight. People had already arrived. To the left, most of the family and friends had filled their side of the chapel. To the right, not as full, but still a fine collection of family and friends. All the people spoke amongst one another. Then in a sudden moment, the Bride herself stand in the front of the isle and turns towards the back of the church. Making her way down, stopping by each person to give them a thanks you and a hello, she walks gracefully. Followed by her brides maids, they are headed to get ready for the wedding. Not once did I think to myself that it may have been nontraditional to see the Bride before the wedding. I was thinking to myself, 'How beautiful is She.' My eyes began to sting at her beauty. The white on her dress began to glow as if the presence of an Angel was in the room with us. Her hair curled up and pinned in place. This was not even what was to come, I had yet to see the final outfit. For this was only her practice dress and attire. The final gown was yet to be seen. I then disappeared in a flash, 'I must get ready.'
I find myself now a quick, long stride walk towards my own personal dressing area. Just through a dining hall and off to the side. i was dressed in a casual button down shirt and slacks. Nothing like the groom is supposed to wear. I was to get dressed, and get ready for what was to come. I entered this dark closet like room. Bigger than a walk in closet, but smaller than a full size bathroom. It was decorated with a stand alone sink and an large oval mirror just above. No real lighting in the room. In fact I do not ever recall turning on a light. As I begin to get dressed, I hear a voice from outside my room. I look out to see my Father, dressed to the fullest in a matching tuxedo holding forward a hanger with my shirt on it. The pure white tuxedo shirt I am supposed to be wearing, not the now flattened, dingy button down I currently have on. "Thank you, can't believe I forgot this," I exclaimed. "You almost ready?" my father asks me in an impatient tone. "Almost." I snap back, "Wait here a moment and I'll be ready to go."
I step back into the dark dressing room. I put the tuxedo shirt on, and throw my crimson tie around my neck and half way tie the knot. Tuck it into pearl white vest and grab my comb. My hair had some palmade already to go from the trip down, so I quickly pulled my comb through my hair, tossed it into the sink. Then peaking my head out the door, looking at my Father I tell him, "I'm on my way, let them know ." He turns and heads back towards the Chapel and out of sight. I look briefly around me in the dining room to notice it is beginning to be filled with clothed tables and decorations of sorts. A large Gothic mirror now sits on the wall just outside my dressing quarters. As I look into the reflection of myself, I see how messy I have made myself. My hair has fallen from position, my tie is balled up like a pair of socks fresh out the dryer, my slacks sag like I was wearing jeans at a concert and worst of all, I have buttoned my beautiful white tuxedo shirt right over the top of the button down dress shirt I had been wearing before. Needless to say I was in a frantic hustle. I dart back into my dressing room and begin to rearrange myself. All the while remembering I need to hurry. I take off my attire and replace it back to my body properly, keeping a loose tie till the end. I tuck in my shirt, adjust my pants and tighten the waist, slip on my shoes, pull down my vest, and with a snug pull, correct my tie into place. I open my jar of palmade and add a bit more to my hair. Now making sure it will stay in place, I follow my comb with the flat of my fingers. A few pulls through and I am done. I glance into the mirror, "There we go," I expressed joyfully. 'Now let's get going.'
I turn to the door in a controlled panic of sorts and push it open, only to be vividly surprised. What was an empty dinner hall when I started getting ready, has now turned into full stocked, medieval feast, with residents and guests packed to the gills. Eating. Drinking. Carrying on in a merry manner. I see to my immediate right of me, my brothers and their family with a few select friends and people I did not know. "What are you doing?" I ask aloud, "Where are your tuxedos?" Looking at each others tuxedos, then back at me, "These are them, the ones we were given." I was quickly confused. They were not in the groomsman tuxedos that were to match mine. Black tuxedos, pearl vests, crimson ties and cuff links, and beautiful white shirts. " This is not right, those tuxedo's are completely wrong!" I was getting more confused. They wore Black jackets with a mint olive colored cumber bun and bow ties. The complete opposite of what i was wearing. "And why are you in here eating and not in the Chapel?" I fumbled my words. "It's been called off," my brother tells me with a sorrow look. I then notice they all stare at me in disappointment. In frustration I turn away and dart from the room.
I enter a grand hall, much like that of an auditorium, minus the stage. Two floors. The bottom floor where I stand is blank. The upper balcony holds the guests, and those who chose to come see what was to soon happen. As I look for a way out of a room, the hall doors spring open, and what looks to be a Nutcracker style marching band enters. Five soldiers wide, and what seems to be a never ending line of them. They filled the hall in seconds. All the while I stood there like a sore thumb, dressed in my tuxedo, standing between these fascinating band members. Dressed in vibrant white marching jackets, striped with red chords and blue accents. Hats as tall as I could see. And instruments that sound with a power that makes your chest thud. On any other occasion I would have watched for hours. But right now I was trying to find the Bride. I began to panic because every attempt I made to find a door was quickly interrupted by the bands change in march or direction. I was denied an exit multiple times before they came to a stand still. "Come wait over here," called out a soldier. "We will be still only for a moment, then when we begin to move towards the center of the room, you dart back here, there is a door that is unlocked. It can get you out of here." He then focused his attention forward, away from me, as if by telling me what he did, he would have been dismissed from the order.
I stood in a holding position for what felt like forever. But must have been a few seconds. The band then makes it's way to a new formation in the center of the room at which point I turned my back to them and quickly exited the hall. I now find myself in a darker, club style room. Tables of people everywhere, enjoying what seems to be a more casual style food and drink combination than what I had seen with my brothers. As I begin to walk around the room in search of the Bride, I see no ones face. I cannot make contact with anyone to possibly ask questions. Then from the back corner of the room, I can see a bridesmaids stand and walk towards a table. I hurry over to maybe get some information from her. She sits with friends and fellow bridesmaid's. As she turns away from the service table with her food in hand, she looks up at me. Her eyes are very unsettling, almost with a undertone combination of disgust and disappointment. She is dressed down in a cocktail dress and some accents. With a sharp glance, she looks through me, as if to point me in the reverse direction. I turn completely around and notice Her. Sitting alone in a private area, almost like a VIP section. But with no body around. Her hand supports her head from falling to the table. She too is dressed down now. The angelic white gown has been replaced by a drab Cabernet cocktail dress. Shoes may not have even been on. I did not take notice. Her hair falls from the pins and decorative curls once seen earlier today. As I walk towards her, I begin to feel excitement. I have found Her. I was a few steps away from Her when she looks up at me. Her eyes swollen from tears. Her make up no longer on her face.
Our eyes meet and she instantaneously gets choked up. 'Oh no' she mixes between a sudden sudden cry and saddened words. She grabs her face with both hands and drops her head away. The sight of me still in the tuxedo has taken her heart away. I grab her shoulders and guide her head up. I move her hands away from her face. Her tears cover her cheeks. Her eyes are bloodshot and swollen. The sadness in them is heart wrenching. The redness goes unseen because of the back light coming from behind her table. The whole room disappears to me. I have not come to realize that in all my effort to get dressed and present myself to her as her Groom, I have taken the entire night to get ready. The sun was on its way down when I left the room to head to the Chapel. I did not realize now that the day has made it's way all the way to the early hours just after midnight. For each time I fumbled my steps, I back stepped even further away from my focus. I did not realize that I was making Her wait, and wait, and wait some more.
"I want to marry you," I say joyously. "We can do this, just me and you, let's go right now, before everyone!" I hold her shoulders, and press my forehead to hers. I try to comfort her, still not realizing my mistakes. She fights back some tears, and stares at the table in front of her. With a hollow, heartbroken voice she pushes out her quiet words, "It's to late, I can't do this . . . "
I disconnect from the body and begin to see the groom standing there holding her tightly, as he finally realizes his transgressions. He too begins to tear. While My view gets wider and wider of the scene before me, a strong and clear voice speaks from behind me, "You are too late, Your focus on yourself was for to long. It has passed."
11.12.2010
9.14.2010
Fighter
I was sound asleep, in a peaceful dream, running around with my friends in between trees, and tackling one another to the ground, splashing on the shores, and sleeping in the sun. All of a sudden it was darkness. I was violently shaking. I opened my eyes to see these hands grabbing at me. Gripping me up by my neck. Wrapping tighter around to hold me still from breaking free. Forcefully dragging me across this room. Three large men wait for me. I am so nervous, I hold still in fear, hoping that I will not be hit, or thrown. They place me on a table and check my body. I do not understand what they are saying, but I can see them staring at me, and shaking their fingers. I hope I did not do anything wrong. Then they take me by my neck again, and bring me into this other room. It has a lot of people in it. Shouting, shaking hands, having drinks. The room is hard to breath in. Smoke is all around the atmosphere. As they pull me closer to the center of the room, I get more and more nervous. There is a wall in the middle that everyone is staring at. The noise is so loud.
Then they lift me up, and hold me still against the wall. I look across the way, and I see on of my friend. He is being held against the wall too, thrashing though. I think he was scared too. But he keeps staring at me, like I did something wrong. Then the hands hold my mouth shut. I feel a very hot stinging pain on the topside of my head. I go numb. Whatever it was, it hurts bad. I can feel my head bleeding. Then they put a mask over my mouth. I cannot scream for help. I noticed another one of my friends has been placed against the wall as well. He too stares at me like i did something wrong. Both of my friends look at me like I am the reason they are being held back in this room of walls. Then all of a sudden, everything goes silent. I cannot hear anything anymore. My ears are clogged with blood, and the hands that hold my neck, now let go. I am free, and my friends are as well. I see them start charging me, screaming and yelling at me. I try to back away. I try to yell, but my mouth is shut by this mask. They begin to jump on me. They pummel me with their heads, and their arms. Their nails are long and sharp and start to cut my sides. They go for my neck and make more scars. Then they start to bite me. Over and over again they brutally beat me. I try to escape. I climb the wall to get away, only to be thrown back in. My friends drag me back to the middle of the walls and beat me some more. I cannot see out of my one eye. It is filled with blood and swollen shut. Maybe that is what stopped it, but a few minutes later I was pulled out of the walls by my neck again. This made my friends so mad, that they began to attack each other. Maybe blaming the other for my removal. As I was dragged away, we passed right by my room, and went up these stairs to the outside area under the night sky. I could not move though. My energy was gone.
I came to a hard fall in the back of this moving vehicle that they brought me here in a few days earlier. I wanted to get up and see where we were going, but I was to tired and in too much pain to move. I fell asleep. No dreams this time, just passed out. I do not know how long I was out, but when was woken up, it was again by these people gripping me up by my neck. What did I do to bring this treatment on me. They dropped me on the ground, tore the mask off my face, and when I did not move right away, they kicked me repeatedly. In the ribs, in the face, in my legs. I mustered up whatever energy I had left and walked away into the darkness. I found some space behind a tree and fell asleep their. The night began to get real cold after that point. I had no more strength to find a warmer place. So I passed out. I stayed under that tree for a few days, barely being able to move. I could not get up to eat anything, or to even drink from the puddle on the ground a few feet away. I started to get real sad, real confused. What did I do to make these people so mad at me. Will they ever come back.
A few days later my dream startled me, when I awoke, there were two people I had never seen before. They were holding me still. Touching my head where I had been bleeding. Touching my mouth where I had that mask. Touching my neck and ribs, nicely though, not in anger. It kind of hurt, but I was not scared. I felt a peace in these people I had not had before. They both picked me up, and carried me to a vehicle a few feet away, placed me inside. It was nice in there. I watched outside as they sky and the trees past. It must have been a while of that cause I fell asleep again. When the vehicle stopped, I woke up. I saw one of the people sitting next to me. They must have been there the whole time. They had tears in their eyes. They picked me up again, and carried me inside a building. I will say by this point I was nervous. They placed me on a table, and put a mask over my face, but this mask let me breath. It was clean air. They started to scrub my cuts, and my neck, and my head. After a while I could hear them. I did not understand yet, but it was nice to be able to hear them. They gave me as much food as I could eat, and enough water to keep me happy. They smiled at me when they talked. I started to feel safe.
We took one more ride after they cleaned me up and wrapped up my scars. This time I could sit up a lot better, and I got to see the outside. I could feel the air go by us. I could hear the animals outside, and smell the fresh air. It was nice, and the people that were taking care of me kept looking back at me and smiling. Then they would look at each other and smile. They took me to a new place. A quiet place, with trees and, and a river, and enough food and water so I would not go hungry again. They opened a door and I saw all new friends come barreling out with smiles on their faces, like they knew me. They all charged me, but instead of beating me up, they wanted to play. So I ran, and they ran with me. I fell, they all tackled me. We were all having a good time. When we all got tired, we went over to the field where the people were sitting and lay down to watch the sun go down. It was then that I got to hear the first thing I understood in a while. One of the people looked at me in my eyes, put his hand on my head, rubbed it and said,
" How do you like your new home pup? You like it a lot don't ya? Yeah your a Good dog!"
I put my head on his lap, and knew I safe, I knew I was home.
Then they lift me up, and hold me still against the wall. I look across the way, and I see on of my friend. He is being held against the wall too, thrashing though. I think he was scared too. But he keeps staring at me, like I did something wrong. Then the hands hold my mouth shut. I feel a very hot stinging pain on the topside of my head. I go numb. Whatever it was, it hurts bad. I can feel my head bleeding. Then they put a mask over my mouth. I cannot scream for help. I noticed another one of my friends has been placed against the wall as well. He too stares at me like i did something wrong. Both of my friends look at me like I am the reason they are being held back in this room of walls. Then all of a sudden, everything goes silent. I cannot hear anything anymore. My ears are clogged with blood, and the hands that hold my neck, now let go. I am free, and my friends are as well. I see them start charging me, screaming and yelling at me. I try to back away. I try to yell, but my mouth is shut by this mask. They begin to jump on me. They pummel me with their heads, and their arms. Their nails are long and sharp and start to cut my sides. They go for my neck and make more scars. Then they start to bite me. Over and over again they brutally beat me. I try to escape. I climb the wall to get away, only to be thrown back in. My friends drag me back to the middle of the walls and beat me some more. I cannot see out of my one eye. It is filled with blood and swollen shut. Maybe that is what stopped it, but a few minutes later I was pulled out of the walls by my neck again. This made my friends so mad, that they began to attack each other. Maybe blaming the other for my removal. As I was dragged away, we passed right by my room, and went up these stairs to the outside area under the night sky. I could not move though. My energy was gone.
I came to a hard fall in the back of this moving vehicle that they brought me here in a few days earlier. I wanted to get up and see where we were going, but I was to tired and in too much pain to move. I fell asleep. No dreams this time, just passed out. I do not know how long I was out, but when was woken up, it was again by these people gripping me up by my neck. What did I do to bring this treatment on me. They dropped me on the ground, tore the mask off my face, and when I did not move right away, they kicked me repeatedly. In the ribs, in the face, in my legs. I mustered up whatever energy I had left and walked away into the darkness. I found some space behind a tree and fell asleep their. The night began to get real cold after that point. I had no more strength to find a warmer place. So I passed out. I stayed under that tree for a few days, barely being able to move. I could not get up to eat anything, or to even drink from the puddle on the ground a few feet away. I started to get real sad, real confused. What did I do to make these people so mad at me. Will they ever come back.
A few days later my dream startled me, when I awoke, there were two people I had never seen before. They were holding me still. Touching my head where I had been bleeding. Touching my mouth where I had that mask. Touching my neck and ribs, nicely though, not in anger. It kind of hurt, but I was not scared. I felt a peace in these people I had not had before. They both picked me up, and carried me to a vehicle a few feet away, placed me inside. It was nice in there. I watched outside as they sky and the trees past. It must have been a while of that cause I fell asleep again. When the vehicle stopped, I woke up. I saw one of the people sitting next to me. They must have been there the whole time. They had tears in their eyes. They picked me up again, and carried me inside a building. I will say by this point I was nervous. They placed me on a table, and put a mask over my face, but this mask let me breath. It was clean air. They started to scrub my cuts, and my neck, and my head. After a while I could hear them. I did not understand yet, but it was nice to be able to hear them. They gave me as much food as I could eat, and enough water to keep me happy. They smiled at me when they talked. I started to feel safe.
We took one more ride after they cleaned me up and wrapped up my scars. This time I could sit up a lot better, and I got to see the outside. I could feel the air go by us. I could hear the animals outside, and smell the fresh air. It was nice, and the people that were taking care of me kept looking back at me and smiling. Then they would look at each other and smile. They took me to a new place. A quiet place, with trees and, and a river, and enough food and water so I would not go hungry again. They opened a door and I saw all new friends come barreling out with smiles on their faces, like they knew me. They all charged me, but instead of beating me up, they wanted to play. So I ran, and they ran with me. I fell, they all tackled me. We were all having a good time. When we all got tired, we went over to the field where the people were sitting and lay down to watch the sun go down. It was then that I got to hear the first thing I understood in a while. One of the people looked at me in my eyes, put his hand on my head, rubbed it and said,
" How do you like your new home pup? You like it a lot don't ya? Yeah your a Good dog!"
I put my head on his lap, and knew I safe, I knew I was home.
8.29.2010
Random Rant
It's Sunday night. I am sitting on the couch trying to figure out how to explain our Company, and describe what has been going on in the past two years since it was created, and the steps we took, and projects we succeeded in to get here, all for an article to be published soon enough in a national magazine. Sounds easy right, not really. While I have a brain block, I figured it could be a good time to rant about some stuff that floats around in my mind lately. Enjoy!
The other day while watching the movie Seven Pounds, I came to re-realize something that I tend to ponder rather frequently. In the end of the movie, there is a scene where Emily walks into a chorus performance that is choreographed by Ezra. What comes to my mind as Emily walks in is this: The purity, and beauty, in the quoir of children, maybe in first or second grade, maybe even third grade, singing "I'm Into Something Good," that cannot be matched. Children less than teens, sometimes even less than double digits, are some of the only existing "Pure" things we can embrace in the world right now. The sounds and the energy and pure beauty in their voices as they sing! It is beyond words. It breaks the heart almost.
Society and Marketing and Sub Cultures and so many other things are almost forcing children to live as adults, or place themselves in adult situations. Negligent parent(s) as well are looking to be more of a friend, than a parent, thus catapulting the "Adult" or "Mature Lifestyle" in these children. While the majority of us are so immersed in ourselves, and the life we are creating around us, and the status symbolism we try and portray, we almost forget to stop and simply enjoy the fact that we are alive, and that there is a beautiful creation surrounding us, that we have the privilege of experiencing everyday and night. That we may be a motivation for what's to come, we can be an example, on what can be done to keep things beautiful. Keep things pure.
You can't stand in the lines at a grocery store without glancing over a magazine cover with title(s) associated with gluttony, judgement, deception, lust, envy or betrayal. Turn on the television and out of 500+ channels we could be so lucky to catch a show worth watching that does not leave us in thoughts of the same. Our radio stations find the need to purposely use noises and innuendos associated with sex and domination and fornication in advertising their names and products.
Children below the age of sixteen wondering around in the streets at midnight, one, two a.m., cursing like sailors, rattling on about the "hook up" they had or are going to have. Pregnancy beginning to be the norm in children as young as 13. Drug addictions starting at 10 years old and sometimes younger. A baby boy no older that 18 months being made an Internet icon through video because he is smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I have personally heard 13 and 14 year old kids, talk about their hangovers and drug binges from the weekend before. The hook up they had or how they wanna hook up with this new one tonight.
Icons today are no longer moms and dads, coaches, teachers, revolutionaries, preachers, one of a kind ground breaking musicians, presidents, versatile and creative actors, athletes with exceptional talent and motivational drive, educated business man and woman helping to create products to change life, veterinarians, astronauts, painters, race car drivers. No, the icons of today seem to be Sloppy, Drunk, Drug Induced, Half Talent Actors and No Talent Musicians, sons and daughters of millionaires living off mommy and daddy's moneys. One Liner Comedians with movies that run on and on about the same topics ad same jokes in every film. Athletes that are found Guilty of Drug Crimes, Inhumane Crimes against people and animals alike. Hip Hops Convicted Murderers, who rap about how much money they make on drug sales, Rock n Roll & Pop stars and their albums devoted to getting wasted and sleeping with everyone who offers as well as the degradation on woman. Anything that can be Marketed, WILL be Marketed and we will be force fed it, as long as we are watching and listening to it.
Another major fallback that becomes more and more trendy, that we all in the network are falling victim to - Social Media Engines. The ability to make "ME" or "I" a market tool. How do I make "ME" be more wanted, more watched, more followed.
I read an article the other day in Relevant Magazine, that talked about the use of Social Networking, and how it has the ability to create and destroy yourself in subliminal manors. The ability to "Create" yourself, make yourself interesting, make yourself more than you are. How the Social Networks have created a dual destruction in youth and mid twenties of today. By utilizing the self-constructed pages, we can create a profile or fan page devoted to ourselves or our product. Thus making something for everyone to look at, as well as ourselves.
How often do you check your own Social Network Page? How often do you look at your own photo, read your own status, check your own information and attributes? It's Narcissism. That can lead to some very destructive roads once you begin to keep the focus on "ME" and what i can do to keep "ME" happy.
Also mentioned on the list of created trip ups. Exhibitionism. Not just in a Sex related way, but a self centered, satisfying way, to know that someone takes the time in their life to "follow" you. To "watch" everything you are doing, because we openly "share" everything and anything that is happening at that exact moment in time. Thoughts, photos, ideas, aggravations, interests, all thought words, videos, and small bite size exhorts. One minute at a time. LIVE!
It goes on to explain how the Social Networks can be a great tool for marketing and socializing, but can very well be the gateway to addictive and self centered behaviors. Taking us away from life, and immersing us in "Right Now Gratification."
We should try not to get caught up in instantaneous gratification. We should start to look at life again with new eyes everyday, with thanks in our hearts. Make time to see and hear the purity in life, the sounds of natures, the sites of the scenery around us, and the enjoyment of silence. There is so much to be had, when we step away from addictions, and just sit back and enjoy whats left in the pure Earth.
The other day while watching the movie Seven Pounds, I came to re-realize something that I tend to ponder rather frequently. In the end of the movie, there is a scene where Emily walks into a chorus performance that is choreographed by Ezra. What comes to my mind as Emily walks in is this: The purity, and beauty, in the quoir of children, maybe in first or second grade, maybe even third grade, singing "I'm Into Something Good," that cannot be matched. Children less than teens, sometimes even less than double digits, are some of the only existing "Pure" things we can embrace in the world right now. The sounds and the energy and pure beauty in their voices as they sing! It is beyond words. It breaks the heart almost.
Society and Marketing and Sub Cultures and so many other things are almost forcing children to live as adults, or place themselves in adult situations. Negligent parent(s) as well are looking to be more of a friend, than a parent, thus catapulting the "Adult" or "Mature Lifestyle" in these children. While the majority of us are so immersed in ourselves, and the life we are creating around us, and the status symbolism we try and portray, we almost forget to stop and simply enjoy the fact that we are alive, and that there is a beautiful creation surrounding us, that we have the privilege of experiencing everyday and night. That we may be a motivation for what's to come, we can be an example, on what can be done to keep things beautiful. Keep things pure.
You can't stand in the lines at a grocery store without glancing over a magazine cover with title(s) associated with gluttony, judgement, deception, lust, envy or betrayal. Turn on the television and out of 500+ channels we could be so lucky to catch a show worth watching that does not leave us in thoughts of the same. Our radio stations find the need to purposely use noises and innuendos associated with sex and domination and fornication in advertising their names and products.
Children below the age of sixteen wondering around in the streets at midnight, one, two a.m., cursing like sailors, rattling on about the "hook up" they had or are going to have. Pregnancy beginning to be the norm in children as young as 13. Drug addictions starting at 10 years old and sometimes younger. A baby boy no older that 18 months being made an Internet icon through video because he is smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I have personally heard 13 and 14 year old kids, talk about their hangovers and drug binges from the weekend before. The hook up they had or how they wanna hook up with this new one tonight.
Icons today are no longer moms and dads, coaches, teachers, revolutionaries, preachers, one of a kind ground breaking musicians, presidents, versatile and creative actors, athletes with exceptional talent and motivational drive, educated business man and woman helping to create products to change life, veterinarians, astronauts, painters, race car drivers. No, the icons of today seem to be Sloppy, Drunk, Drug Induced, Half Talent Actors and No Talent Musicians, sons and daughters of millionaires living off mommy and daddy's moneys. One Liner Comedians with movies that run on and on about the same topics ad same jokes in every film. Athletes that are found Guilty of Drug Crimes, Inhumane Crimes against people and animals alike. Hip Hops Convicted Murderers, who rap about how much money they make on drug sales, Rock n Roll & Pop stars and their albums devoted to getting wasted and sleeping with everyone who offers as well as the degradation on woman. Anything that can be Marketed, WILL be Marketed and we will be force fed it, as long as we are watching and listening to it.
Another major fallback that becomes more and more trendy, that we all in the network are falling victim to - Social Media Engines. The ability to make "ME" or "I" a market tool. How do I make "ME" be more wanted, more watched, more followed.
I read an article the other day in Relevant Magazine, that talked about the use of Social Networking, and how it has the ability to create and destroy yourself in subliminal manors. The ability to "Create" yourself, make yourself interesting, make yourself more than you are. How the Social Networks have created a dual destruction in youth and mid twenties of today. By utilizing the self-constructed pages, we can create a profile or fan page devoted to ourselves or our product. Thus making something for everyone to look at, as well as ourselves.
How often do you check your own Social Network Page? How often do you look at your own photo, read your own status, check your own information and attributes? It's Narcissism. That can lead to some very destructive roads once you begin to keep the focus on "ME" and what i can do to keep "ME" happy.
Also mentioned on the list of created trip ups. Exhibitionism. Not just in a Sex related way, but a self centered, satisfying way, to know that someone takes the time in their life to "follow" you. To "watch" everything you are doing, because we openly "share" everything and anything that is happening at that exact moment in time. Thoughts, photos, ideas, aggravations, interests, all thought words, videos, and small bite size exhorts. One minute at a time. LIVE!
It goes on to explain how the Social Networks can be a great tool for marketing and socializing, but can very well be the gateway to addictive and self centered behaviors. Taking us away from life, and immersing us in "Right Now Gratification."
We should try not to get caught up in instantaneous gratification. We should start to look at life again with new eyes everyday, with thanks in our hearts. Make time to see and hear the purity in life, the sounds of natures, the sites of the scenery around us, and the enjoyment of silence. There is so much to be had, when we step away from addictions, and just sit back and enjoy whats left in the pure Earth.
8.11.2010
Call to the Faithful
Received in Prayer- 7.26.10:
"Loose your Faith, let it loose, let it free to grow strong in the Lord. To have Faith in He that serves you, less you be served by the Lord of Hosts, Jesus Christ. Through His name, miracles happen. Trees grow, plants bloom, sun lights up the sky. He is the Almighty and shall be praised as so. You know the difference between you and I, I am the Lord your God, The maker of all things, and through my words, they begin to take shape, and it is through You that My will is done. To show the world the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, and to back up the belief that He is the risen Lord. I shall flow a river forth to the, and carry out thy commands of the faithful, and of He in charge. It's a shame that in doing so, so many doubt and do not believe in me. That's where you come in, as a simple servant, and do the will of the Lord. To share to all the nations, the Word of God. Through the painting of the picture of Christ, you will speak a thousand words, to those medicated in His ways. I will speak through your brushstrokes, the biblical truths, to My prophecies, and the things that are to come. For you and your brothers on Earth are to serve me to the fullest with your hearts, and your mights, and let your souls do the talking through the power of the Holy Spirit.
I will heal those who are sick, in need to walk, the lame, the empowered, the prisoner of sickness, and health care failures. The provisions of God are extended past the reach of Man, into the realm of Faith and observation of the Holy spiritual powers of Jesus Christ and He who works with Him and through Him. All things come to receive the power, and the blessing, of the Holy Spirit." Amen
To the ones who don't believe, we shall testify our Faith, and Love in and too one another, as if we have known them for centuries as our brothers in arms.
"Embrace one another, rich and small, and do not turn your backs to one another. No matter the circumstances. Be small or large, grotesque or not. Follow the path of the righteous, and be blessed beyond your means. Sentimental Johnny, another term for someone who cares for those around him. Unconditionally and unconstitutionally, without revise, or worry, to what the man around him thinks. No matter the punishment that ensues. He will go out of his way to help others in need of food, shelter, and clothing. days off his back will be given, in Love, as a sacrifice of the Spirit of well being, and the Love for one another. To his fellow man, a Jewish man will love another, no matter the loss."
Of being in denial of many things to come, "There will be a heavy burden of desire, fame, and rationalization of thinking needed to overcome. To make it through the days you will need not to think as the Romans did, and come to the surface to survive, only to go back down again and starve. Instead of this you must save for latter days. I will take you to where you to go to survive, but you must follow me accordingly. Use only what is given to you to survive. No more, no less. Do not be greedy to survive. I will provide the essentials, the basics. To where you are going to go, you will need your inheritance, passed down to you as deserved, from your fathers keeper. Those of which you did not know you had. But it will come in due time. Until then, plan to save what you can, appending as little as possible, and only on things you need for that time, and place, in your journey, such as food, socks, neat things to keep track of your happenings, and books to educate are a must. You will need the Word of God in all you do and as much as you can, wherever you can. I will take care of you."
"He who testifies in Faith about the Son of the Most high, much will be given to he and his offspring in the name of Jesus Christ Almighty. I don't know where to begin on how important it is to stay in the Word, in these times of trouble, deception and deceit. These wicked ways of the world are bogging you down, and I want to eradicate them from you, so that I may use you for my purpose. The goals in your life do not matter, for where I want to take you is so much higher than that. Your greatness will be known throughout the Islamic faith, that you stood strong against the Christian Haters, and the eyes of the Lord were upon you, and you overcame, with the vengeance of the Lord on your side. You are needed in the army of the chosen few. Much is expected of those who follow the Lord now. So do not whimper at the signs of trouble. Be strong to the point of death, and you will be given the crown of life, and you will live for generations to come." Amen and Amen.
"To those that do not follow Me. Do not be afraid to tell them, their wicked ways will fall short of the glory of God, and for them, on judgement day, they will get cast out of the heavens and into the fiery pits of Hell, for not believing and following the risen Lord Jesus Christ.
The time is coming soon to where I will begin to show My face, and eradicate those who judge Me, and persecute Me in faith, that no doubt falls short of nothing close to what I would have for them. To believe in Me is real, to have Faith in Me is real, to do My will is beyond real.It is a supernatural strength, brought forth only by the Spirit of the Lord in times of need and acceptance of Him who has risen in your life. Shake off the old you. Stay focused unto Him who calls you, and you shall be given the Lambs share, and the Lions share of the crown of life.
For the Love has already grown cold in most of those who know life. They are sad, weak, depressed and sorrowful. And you will need to avoid these things to be successful and buoyant to the needs of others. In such time can be helpful but may also tug you to the bottom, in fits of rage. Take lash to hand, and move with the ships tide, and carry out to sea of Faith, My teachings and justifications of the souls of men, and you shall go far in the teachings of Christ."
Abandoned all hope, for your own ways are ruled by the Devil. But your spiritual ways are guided by Christs Spirit. Take refuge in He who commands you for following His lead, and His words that guide you and speak to you softly. Listen to the words I am about to say:
"Give up the ways of the world, and only follow the One that leads you now to the path of righteousness. Only through Him, I will do many great things through you. Subjected by the Holy Spirit, and aimed at the hearts and souls of troubled youth and teens throughout America. To release the Islamic grip and backsliding ways of the world. To tie down the oppression of the wicked one, and to loose free the Spirit of Devine Light and Prophecy. To all the nations inland of China, to the shores of Scandinavia, to the province of Quebec, You will reign with the keys in the Heavens, on the glorious day of His coming. To pursue His Majesty must be your greatest goal and test of good Faith in He the comes in the name of the Lord most high. Do not lose heart. For He is with you forever and always. Through your pen He speaks, through your heart He listens, through your soul He acts, in the name of Jesus Christ Almighty. The God of Heaven above, and the Spirit of the Everlasting. To all the nations throughout the night, may peace be with upon them, and the sleeping of many, be on the shoulders of giants. In the name of Jesus, Amen."
To all the world may be at rest. "For the hour has come when I rise up and take shape, and My hand will raise in power never before seen. Like no other, and I will have my way with the wicked deeds you consider prosperous, and the wicked deeds you condone and think to be good and rich in heart. Shame on you as a nation, to rise up and predict defeat. It is immanent that I will defend My country by talent, and force, through those I choose to appose you. You shall be defeated through the iron fist and scepter of the Lord Jesus Christ and through the natural selection, be picked off, one nation at a time, and in trial be judged. As a nation against Islamic Fascist ways, I will destroy those who follow them, and take you out one at a time. Bit by Bit. Piece by Piece, until you shall beg for mercy. But you will get no mercy from Me, for this is your judgement calling in to give you your fix, and judgement of all the nations of Islam, your gamma path as just and deserved." These are the words of the Lord.
In discretion to the sub advisory, to those who do not believe, it is time to awaken from your slumber and arise in the nations capital, and awaken the beast that has been created for defeat. It is imminent, the structure. The end times has begun, and it is time for you to be a part of it. Only through you may our Faith grow stronger in the Lord Jesus Christ, and the coming of the final days. To him we owe the glory, and the power, and the privilege to say "Lord, forgive the servants," and "Thank you for Your forgiveness Lord, I am into debt, for The has taken me and made me new, in Christ our Lord and Savior most high."
-Cliche prayers, will not work.
-Hymnal guides, will not work.
Nothing works, unless it is from the heart. And you shall find peace, but only through the heart felt prayers of Jesus Christ, in the structure of:
"Our Father, Who are in Heaven, Holy be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those trespassed against us, and deliver us from Evil. For thy is the Kingdom, Power, and Spirit, Forever and Ever. Amen and Amen"
To the Soldiers over seas, "I have not forgotten you. You are in My heart from day one. Be strong unto The and I will be with you. Be faithful in your ways, and the pursuit of happiness for those to come. Have Faith in your Honored God above, and hold firm to His teachings. For it is this that will get you through the night. And to the Infidels of the Lord, May they sleep in peace. For tomorrow they will be judged for their crimes against humanity, and to the people I love." The Lord says "Be strong in all you do," soldiers, He is with you
"Seek Me first, the Kingdom of God, and the blessings of the Lord will come down as rain on the forbidden shores. You are my servant. Act as thought you are. Not like the others, that do as they please, and carry on in the ways of the world. Be still, Wait silently. Speak only when needed, or prompted to, and say only that need be said, and be on your way. Your influence on others is greatly detoured by wanting to be accepted as others. But you are not others, your Mine. Bought at a cost that no other could pay. In need of nothing. In search of never achieving anything. You have all you need in Me. Now go forth in peace, and rest. Sleep peaceful and with love. For He who has found you, will keep you safe, and strong, and sure."
Peace be with you, in Jesus name. Amen and Amen.
God bless.
"Loose your Faith, let it loose, let it free to grow strong in the Lord. To have Faith in He that serves you, less you be served by the Lord of Hosts, Jesus Christ. Through His name, miracles happen. Trees grow, plants bloom, sun lights up the sky. He is the Almighty and shall be praised as so. You know the difference between you and I, I am the Lord your God, The maker of all things, and through my words, they begin to take shape, and it is through You that My will is done. To show the world the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, and to back up the belief that He is the risen Lord. I shall flow a river forth to the, and carry out thy commands of the faithful, and of He in charge. It's a shame that in doing so, so many doubt and do not believe in me. That's where you come in, as a simple servant, and do the will of the Lord. To share to all the nations, the Word of God. Through the painting of the picture of Christ, you will speak a thousand words, to those medicated in His ways. I will speak through your brushstrokes, the biblical truths, to My prophecies, and the things that are to come. For you and your brothers on Earth are to serve me to the fullest with your hearts, and your mights, and let your souls do the talking through the power of the Holy Spirit.
I will heal those who are sick, in need to walk, the lame, the empowered, the prisoner of sickness, and health care failures. The provisions of God are extended past the reach of Man, into the realm of Faith and observation of the Holy spiritual powers of Jesus Christ and He who works with Him and through Him. All things come to receive the power, and the blessing, of the Holy Spirit." Amen
To the ones who don't believe, we shall testify our Faith, and Love in and too one another, as if we have known them for centuries as our brothers in arms.
"Embrace one another, rich and small, and do not turn your backs to one another. No matter the circumstances. Be small or large, grotesque or not. Follow the path of the righteous, and be blessed beyond your means. Sentimental Johnny, another term for someone who cares for those around him. Unconditionally and unconstitutionally, without revise, or worry, to what the man around him thinks. No matter the punishment that ensues. He will go out of his way to help others in need of food, shelter, and clothing. days off his back will be given, in Love, as a sacrifice of the Spirit of well being, and the Love for one another. To his fellow man, a Jewish man will love another, no matter the loss."
Of being in denial of many things to come, "There will be a heavy burden of desire, fame, and rationalization of thinking needed to overcome. To make it through the days you will need not to think as the Romans did, and come to the surface to survive, only to go back down again and starve. Instead of this you must save for latter days. I will take you to where you to go to survive, but you must follow me accordingly. Use only what is given to you to survive. No more, no less. Do not be greedy to survive. I will provide the essentials, the basics. To where you are going to go, you will need your inheritance, passed down to you as deserved, from your fathers keeper. Those of which you did not know you had. But it will come in due time. Until then, plan to save what you can, appending as little as possible, and only on things you need for that time, and place, in your journey, such as food, socks, neat things to keep track of your happenings, and books to educate are a must. You will need the Word of God in all you do and as much as you can, wherever you can. I will take care of you."
"He who testifies in Faith about the Son of the Most high, much will be given to he and his offspring in the name of Jesus Christ Almighty. I don't know where to begin on how important it is to stay in the Word, in these times of trouble, deception and deceit. These wicked ways of the world are bogging you down, and I want to eradicate them from you, so that I may use you for my purpose. The goals in your life do not matter, for where I want to take you is so much higher than that. Your greatness will be known throughout the Islamic faith, that you stood strong against the Christian Haters, and the eyes of the Lord were upon you, and you overcame, with the vengeance of the Lord on your side. You are needed in the army of the chosen few. Much is expected of those who follow the Lord now. So do not whimper at the signs of trouble. Be strong to the point of death, and you will be given the crown of life, and you will live for generations to come." Amen and Amen.
"To those that do not follow Me. Do not be afraid to tell them, their wicked ways will fall short of the glory of God, and for them, on judgement day, they will get cast out of the heavens and into the fiery pits of Hell, for not believing and following the risen Lord Jesus Christ.
The time is coming soon to where I will begin to show My face, and eradicate those who judge Me, and persecute Me in faith, that no doubt falls short of nothing close to what I would have for them. To believe in Me is real, to have Faith in Me is real, to do My will is beyond real.It is a supernatural strength, brought forth only by the Spirit of the Lord in times of need and acceptance of Him who has risen in your life. Shake off the old you. Stay focused unto Him who calls you, and you shall be given the Lambs share, and the Lions share of the crown of life.
For the Love has already grown cold in most of those who know life. They are sad, weak, depressed and sorrowful. And you will need to avoid these things to be successful and buoyant to the needs of others. In such time can be helpful but may also tug you to the bottom, in fits of rage. Take lash to hand, and move with the ships tide, and carry out to sea of Faith, My teachings and justifications of the souls of men, and you shall go far in the teachings of Christ."
Abandoned all hope, for your own ways are ruled by the Devil. But your spiritual ways are guided by Christs Spirit. Take refuge in He who commands you for following His lead, and His words that guide you and speak to you softly. Listen to the words I am about to say:
"Give up the ways of the world, and only follow the One that leads you now to the path of righteousness. Only through Him, I will do many great things through you. Subjected by the Holy Spirit, and aimed at the hearts and souls of troubled youth and teens throughout America. To release the Islamic grip and backsliding ways of the world. To tie down the oppression of the wicked one, and to loose free the Spirit of Devine Light and Prophecy. To all the nations inland of China, to the shores of Scandinavia, to the province of Quebec, You will reign with the keys in the Heavens, on the glorious day of His coming. To pursue His Majesty must be your greatest goal and test of good Faith in He the comes in the name of the Lord most high. Do not lose heart. For He is with you forever and always. Through your pen He speaks, through your heart He listens, through your soul He acts, in the name of Jesus Christ Almighty. The God of Heaven above, and the Spirit of the Everlasting. To all the nations throughout the night, may peace be with upon them, and the sleeping of many, be on the shoulders of giants. In the name of Jesus, Amen."
To all the world may be at rest. "For the hour has come when I rise up and take shape, and My hand will raise in power never before seen. Like no other, and I will have my way with the wicked deeds you consider prosperous, and the wicked deeds you condone and think to be good and rich in heart. Shame on you as a nation, to rise up and predict defeat. It is immanent that I will defend My country by talent, and force, through those I choose to appose you. You shall be defeated through the iron fist and scepter of the Lord Jesus Christ and through the natural selection, be picked off, one nation at a time, and in trial be judged. As a nation against Islamic Fascist ways, I will destroy those who follow them, and take you out one at a time. Bit by Bit. Piece by Piece, until you shall beg for mercy. But you will get no mercy from Me, for this is your judgement calling in to give you your fix, and judgement of all the nations of Islam, your gamma path as just and deserved." These are the words of the Lord.
In discretion to the sub advisory, to those who do not believe, it is time to awaken from your slumber and arise in the nations capital, and awaken the beast that has been created for defeat. It is imminent, the structure. The end times has begun, and it is time for you to be a part of it. Only through you may our Faith grow stronger in the Lord Jesus Christ, and the coming of the final days. To him we owe the glory, and the power, and the privilege to say "Lord, forgive the servants," and "Thank you for Your forgiveness Lord, I am into debt, for The has taken me and made me new, in Christ our Lord and Savior most high."
-Cliche prayers, will not work.
-Hymnal guides, will not work.
Nothing works, unless it is from the heart. And you shall find peace, but only through the heart felt prayers of Jesus Christ, in the structure of:
"Our Father, Who are in Heaven, Holy be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those trespassed against us, and deliver us from Evil. For thy is the Kingdom, Power, and Spirit, Forever and Ever. Amen and Amen"
To the Soldiers over seas, "I have not forgotten you. You are in My heart from day one. Be strong unto The and I will be with you. Be faithful in your ways, and the pursuit of happiness for those to come. Have Faith in your Honored God above, and hold firm to His teachings. For it is this that will get you through the night. And to the Infidels of the Lord, May they sleep in peace. For tomorrow they will be judged for their crimes against humanity, and to the people I love." The Lord says "Be strong in all you do," soldiers, He is with you
"Seek Me first, the Kingdom of God, and the blessings of the Lord will come down as rain on the forbidden shores. You are my servant. Act as thought you are. Not like the others, that do as they please, and carry on in the ways of the world. Be still, Wait silently. Speak only when needed, or prompted to, and say only that need be said, and be on your way. Your influence on others is greatly detoured by wanting to be accepted as others. But you are not others, your Mine. Bought at a cost that no other could pay. In need of nothing. In search of never achieving anything. You have all you need in Me. Now go forth in peace, and rest. Sleep peaceful and with love. For He who has found you, will keep you safe, and strong, and sure."
Peace be with you, in Jesus name. Amen and Amen.
God bless.
8.10.2010
John Mark McMillan | How He Loves: A Story
My friend Paul, introduced me to this Songwriter. His name is John Mark McMillan. His music is very easy, very lyrical, and has a lot of personality in it. Above that, it is very Faith based as well, and hits you right in the heart. I hope you will enjoy it too. This is the story behind one of his more popular songs, motivated by a very personal experience.
A Letter,
I wrote this a few years ago. I'm trying to stay true to it again . . .
I awoke to the sun shining in my window, and the feeling of warm air coming through the pane of glass that was in its way. The air smelt more fresh than days before. The pains in my mind were lifted and the heart ache seemed to flat line. This was a good morning. what was different? You were different! Your were here. You were in my head, in my heart, in my every thought. You were with me all this time and yet never were noticed. Was it because I never paid attention? Was it because I did not want to see you? Was it because I was distracted? Regardless I have seen you again, and I want to hold you in my sights.
I was emotionally drained when I awoke, but I trekked on in search for you inside me, somewhere around me. As I began to write down on the page my mind went blank, a silent nothing stopped me, thoughts of the pain rise up in my heart. I wrote on, spilling emotion on to the page and not stopping to punctuate. One long thought training into another until i thought no more. I dropped the pen and shut the notebook and began to cry. Why did I cry? Why was I so worked up? I awoke alive and yet felt now like I am dying. The tears came out and carried with them guilt and pain, hurt and disgust, loss and defeat. The sun gave me hope, the smile gave me hope, your voice gave me hope. So quiet but yet it pierced like the two edged sword I have heard about. But did I retain what you said or even hear it?
I jumped in the car and took off into the day. As I passed through the town and through the farmland I pondered a thought. How about a letter, a love letter, but why? How would I go about it? I think I would begin with a hello, I thought of you as I woke. Then I would begin to explain the feelings I had, joy, peace, a calm new beginning to the day. Like a burst of air held me for a moment. Was this a gift from you or was it my mind playing tricks on my heart? Regardless I would continue on to let you know were I stood. I would tell you how great it feels to see your work everyday, to hear your words everyday, to know you love me everyday, to know you miss me when I am not by your side, right where you would have me.
I would begin to tell you the extent of me. How I would do what I knew and what I could to make you smile, to make you see that I am in love and want to bring glory to your name. That I want to please you, that I want to be in your life and have you in mine. Yet I step back and wonder if this is something I will follow up on. Would I do it, or just say it? Would I let you down? But then I remember your forgiveness and your faith in me. To know that no matter what you promised you would not leave me and I promise I will not leave you. Its been a while since I have felt this way. My heart jumps inside my chest with this new feeling. Has it come from you? or have I created something myself?
If i had to walk to the other side of the state to do something for you, I would. If death were at my door, I would hold firm to you and your name. I would picture your face, and how you smile upon me like your father smiled upon you, the day you were born. This would be my letter, my devotional promise to you. I will be there even when times get hard. When I am sick I will still do as you ask, when you are quiet, I will still speak with love, when you want me close I will move to you. when I mess up, I will ask for your forgiveness and make things better. I will do what I know as well as I know. I will fail, I will succeed, I will stumble, but I will be yours and you will be mine. forever. with love . . .
*This is a promise of love, that is more than heart felt. Its love that I desire, one that will never end no matter what the circumstances. UN-conditional love, that so few in this life can give and receive as well. I have found it in you, have you found it in me? He has found it in us, have we accepted it from Him?
I awoke to the sun shining in my window, and the feeling of warm air coming through the pane of glass that was in its way. The air smelt more fresh than days before. The pains in my mind were lifted and the heart ache seemed to flat line. This was a good morning. what was different? You were different! Your were here. You were in my head, in my heart, in my every thought. You were with me all this time and yet never were noticed. Was it because I never paid attention? Was it because I did not want to see you? Was it because I was distracted? Regardless I have seen you again, and I want to hold you in my sights.
I was emotionally drained when I awoke, but I trekked on in search for you inside me, somewhere around me. As I began to write down on the page my mind went blank, a silent nothing stopped me, thoughts of the pain rise up in my heart. I wrote on, spilling emotion on to the page and not stopping to punctuate. One long thought training into another until i thought no more. I dropped the pen and shut the notebook and began to cry. Why did I cry? Why was I so worked up? I awoke alive and yet felt now like I am dying. The tears came out and carried with them guilt and pain, hurt and disgust, loss and defeat. The sun gave me hope, the smile gave me hope, your voice gave me hope. So quiet but yet it pierced like the two edged sword I have heard about. But did I retain what you said or even hear it?
I jumped in the car and took off into the day. As I passed through the town and through the farmland I pondered a thought. How about a letter, a love letter, but why? How would I go about it? I think I would begin with a hello, I thought of you as I woke. Then I would begin to explain the feelings I had, joy, peace, a calm new beginning to the day. Like a burst of air held me for a moment. Was this a gift from you or was it my mind playing tricks on my heart? Regardless I would continue on to let you know were I stood. I would tell you how great it feels to see your work everyday, to hear your words everyday, to know you love me everyday, to know you miss me when I am not by your side, right where you would have me.
I would begin to tell you the extent of me. How I would do what I knew and what I could to make you smile, to make you see that I am in love and want to bring glory to your name. That I want to please you, that I want to be in your life and have you in mine. Yet I step back and wonder if this is something I will follow up on. Would I do it, or just say it? Would I let you down? But then I remember your forgiveness and your faith in me. To know that no matter what you promised you would not leave me and I promise I will not leave you. Its been a while since I have felt this way. My heart jumps inside my chest with this new feeling. Has it come from you? or have I created something myself?
If i had to walk to the other side of the state to do something for you, I would. If death were at my door, I would hold firm to you and your name. I would picture your face, and how you smile upon me like your father smiled upon you, the day you were born. This would be my letter, my devotional promise to you. I will be there even when times get hard. When I am sick I will still do as you ask, when you are quiet, I will still speak with love, when you want me close I will move to you. when I mess up, I will ask for your forgiveness and make things better. I will do what I know as well as I know. I will fail, I will succeed, I will stumble, but I will be yours and you will be mine. forever. with love . . .
*This is a promise of love, that is more than heart felt. Its love that I desire, one that will never end no matter what the circumstances. UN-conditional love, that so few in this life can give and receive as well. I have found it in you, have you found it in me? He has found it in us, have we accepted it from Him?
8.05.2010
Forgiven in Faith
I'm far from perfect, I have offended many, I have misguided many, I have been a terrible example of Faith in Christ. To all of you I have put in these categories, or them alike, I am truly sorry! For the past few years, my wandering ways and selfish ambition have got the best of me, and lead me away from He who should lead me. I'm sorry for the way I was, and I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. I am headed back to His path, and I would like some company!
One of the best things I come to realize about Faith in Christ, is the simple understanding, that once you give your heart to God, and ask him to forgive you, you are truly forgiven, and then are accepted into the Family of the Lord. The highly dis functional, sporadic, imperfect, over the top, fun loving family that pretty much operates with the faith in a Savior who loved us long before anyone ever knew who he was. Its pretty hard to fathom sometimes. Putting your Faith about your life, love, and well being in something that your not really sure even exists? How crazy can one be? Well until you take the first step into that Faith you may never know! It's the first step to a relationship, not a religion.
I'm sorry if you are among the generation that was force fed the Bible, page by page, misinterpretation by misinterpretation, one guilt sandwich after another. The Faith is pretty simple - Trust and Love God First, Believe in Jesus Christ, Follow the Spirit that Guides you, and Love one another as yourself. That's the basics I think. Everything after that comes through the practice and study of the Faith Manuel. Like all things that you must function and operate properly, there is a manual to being a follower. The Bible. That dusty book in the basement, or desk drawer, or boxed away in the attic, in some cases holding up you nightstand's floating leg, (some versions are hard to read, but don't fret, they make different versions for different readers!) The Bible is the Manuel to follow, to help you understand the Faith, as well as the Relationship to the Lord and Father. As you begin to see who They are, They begin to explain the third part, The Spirit, that guides you in all things! (as long as you are listening) that's a catch to the rules. You have to be on guard all the time. Ready to react in an instant. Ready to hear or feel the spiritual guidance.
It's never to late to give the relationship a try. Forget the garbage you hear in the papers, forget about the ecstatic preacher telling you you are going to burn in hell for whatever whatever. If you want to see what the real deal is about God, Ask Him!
Seriously, ask Him in truth! Don't just say to Him, "How bout proving to me your real?" That's an easy answer. You can look around and see that. Ask him a truthful question, maybe one along the lines of this:
"If you are real like they say you are God, then I believe. Forgive me for ignoring you all these years, and heal my heart of all the troubles and burdens I have. Please set me free and show me your Love! Cover me with forgiveness! Let me know your there Jesus, and lead me in your relationship."
If you dare say this with a heart of truth, and you mean it, you will change fast, and like I tell many, and many told me, you can tell it happens when the first thing to change is your heart, you will feel relieved, like a big breath of fresh air, and then almost immediately you brain will tell you "You did not do it right, you are not free, you messed up, etc. etc." but I tell you my friend, If you put your Faith in your request for forgiveness, and your heart is true, you will be set free. "and who the Son sets free, is truly free indeed!
Many Blessings to you my reader, Amen.
One of the best things I come to realize about Faith in Christ, is the simple understanding, that once you give your heart to God, and ask him to forgive you, you are truly forgiven, and then are accepted into the Family of the Lord. The highly dis functional, sporadic, imperfect, over the top, fun loving family that pretty much operates with the faith in a Savior who loved us long before anyone ever knew who he was. Its pretty hard to fathom sometimes. Putting your Faith about your life, love, and well being in something that your not really sure even exists? How crazy can one be? Well until you take the first step into that Faith you may never know! It's the first step to a relationship, not a religion.
I'm sorry if you are among the generation that was force fed the Bible, page by page, misinterpretation by misinterpretation, one guilt sandwich after another. The Faith is pretty simple - Trust and Love God First, Believe in Jesus Christ, Follow the Spirit that Guides you, and Love one another as yourself. That's the basics I think. Everything after that comes through the practice and study of the Faith Manuel. Like all things that you must function and operate properly, there is a manual to being a follower. The Bible. That dusty book in the basement, or desk drawer, or boxed away in the attic, in some cases holding up you nightstand's floating leg, (some versions are hard to read, but don't fret, they make different versions for different readers!) The Bible is the Manuel to follow, to help you understand the Faith, as well as the Relationship to the Lord and Father. As you begin to see who They are, They begin to explain the third part, The Spirit, that guides you in all things! (as long as you are listening) that's a catch to the rules. You have to be on guard all the time. Ready to react in an instant. Ready to hear or feel the spiritual guidance.
It's never to late to give the relationship a try. Forget the garbage you hear in the papers, forget about the ecstatic preacher telling you you are going to burn in hell for whatever whatever. If you want to see what the real deal is about God, Ask Him!
Seriously, ask Him in truth! Don't just say to Him, "How bout proving to me your real?" That's an easy answer. You can look around and see that. Ask him a truthful question, maybe one along the lines of this:
"If you are real like they say you are God, then I believe. Forgive me for ignoring you all these years, and heal my heart of all the troubles and burdens I have. Please set me free and show me your Love! Cover me with forgiveness! Let me know your there Jesus, and lead me in your relationship."
If you dare say this with a heart of truth, and you mean it, you will change fast, and like I tell many, and many told me, you can tell it happens when the first thing to change is your heart, you will feel relieved, like a big breath of fresh air, and then almost immediately you brain will tell you "You did not do it right, you are not free, you messed up, etc. etc." but I tell you my friend, If you put your Faith in your request for forgiveness, and your heart is true, you will be set free. "and who the Son sets free, is truly free indeed!
Many Blessings to you my reader, Amen.
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